Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

wiped and i'm wired

so i saw the shrink. he's stopping my pristiq because i'm not metabolizing it and it's expensive. he's also switched me from xanax to valium, at double the dose. that should stop my rocking. hell, should stop everything. that's a lot of valium. i don't have to take the full doses, though, if it's making me too walking dead. he wanted to put me back on seroquel. we go through this every time. i'm on a working anti-psychotic, but it's an old school one and apparently can damage my liver. more than seroquel. but seroquel doesn't work as well and it makes me fat and i'm not taking it.

he told me that the valium and ambien combined should knock me out. please let it. i guess doc will pick up the prescription for it this weekend.

we didn't go get a tree like he promised. i guess he wasn't feeling good, but he didn't even say anything about it. like, "we're not going to get the tree, i don't feel well," so i had no idea what was going on until we got home. or close to home, i'm getting to know the landscape better near hear, though still no good with direction.

so, xmas tree hopes dashed a second time. *sigh* i feel like he's playing with me, but he's not like that.

i wasn't happy after my appointment. i never am. i have to leave the house, go in and talk to a stranger i pay to medicate me, deal with another stranger to pay my copay and make my next appointment. then there was sitting in the parking lot at the store, while he ran in and got coffee and sugar. i didn't want to go in, but sitting there alone was awful. i felt a little better when i got home but my mood was foul. so i went to bed.

then i got up and watched the muppet xmas carol. and felt much better. then i took an hour nap with felix. and i missed NCIS, duh. oh, and i stuffed a bunch of cigarettes. that, to me is a busy day.

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