this is best for everyone. i haven't talked to doc about it yet, he came home last night after calling and asking if we could start over. i thought i'd better calm down before i bring it up. but he's brought up a home before, it won't completely take him by surprise. it will surprise him that i'm on board now.
i woke up feeling like i had nothing to lose. i still feel that way, i just don't fucking care.
i almost OD-ed last night, but what's the point? i took a kitchen knife to a pizza and box instead. i'm going to have some explaining to do when doc goes to get a slice of pizza and finds it's been stabbed some 70 times.
but i didn't OD. and i didn't go over to my parent's house and kill them in their sleep. (i want them awake for their deaths, anyway) of course, i can't leave the house, so maybe that's not a big accomplishment. if they had been kind enough to come over, i'm sure i would have killed them. you know, out of concern for the world.