i got up at 4:30 this morning, ready to start my day and he was still fucking up. he has to go to bed to get up in the morning for work. he should have been in bed. instead he was up, on the laptop, watching the 2hour Burn Notice premier. i couldn't even stand to be around him so i went back and lay in bed until i heard him go to bed. then i got up loudly.
my life is just s series of care takers who do not love me. and all i want in life is love. that's all. i missed the love of a parent. i missed the love of siblings. i kill every love i get into. all i want is love. why am i impossible to love?