Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

too many words: lj entry

wow, the garbage guys are here already. it feels like i just got up. but i got up at 4 and it's 6:20 now. i spent about an hour of that with doc. we're getting along. i'm trying. i'm trying not to be such a touchy cunt about everything. it's hard, and i don't know what my problem is. no PMS, got my meds... i've been sick, but he took really good care of me.

oh, wait. i think i know what it is. the other day he made a joke about putting me in a home. i didn't take it as a joke. that's a real possibility for me, it's not funny. i want my freedom more than anything. it hurt me and made me afraid. what if i do get to be too much for him? i have to get over it, he would never send me away. he has seriously mentioned getting me a Smail if we have to, Medicare might pay for that part time. if i get bad enough.

you guys, i have a cousin! one that i didn't know about, and she's from my Papa's branch of the family tree, which is the best and most swedish. she's young, gay and sounds completely charming. i can't wait to talk more with her and learn more about her side of the family. and her, of course.

so, wastededucation said he sent me the equipment to take computer1's hard drive out and get the data that way. so if the disk doesn't work, i'm teaching myself to do that. actually, i'm going to teach myself anyway. i had a lot of fun playing with the computers the other day. it was nice to lose myself in something again. i've been inside my head for three years now. so i'm going to teach myself computers. again. i used to know. and i'm pretty sure it will come back to me. i have learned something from watching my tech friends get me out of computer jams before. time to take control. thanks to wastededucation, i have what i need to do a lot of cool things.

oops, the garbage men must have scared sai sai, who is locked in the garage (his own doing), i just heard something fall over out there. maybe i should go see if he'll come to me yet. yep, he knocked over a box of books, no harm done. and he was ready to come in, heh. it's cold out there.

i haven't yet complained about the unfairness of the cold. i live in the bloody buggery desert! it should not be 50 degrees. 6 weeks ago it was twice that, what kind of way is that to run the weather? needless to say, sitting outside to smoke is no longer a pleasure it once was. sitting in the garage is just not the same. there is always crouching under the vent in the kitchen. or, you know, i could just quit. HAH! that was funny.

in twenty minutes i'm sending doc to bed. he's asleep on the couch. a rare pleasure, the couch is too comfy. but at 7, i'll want to hear the tv and light incense and say my morning prayers to Chloe and Henry's memories. maybe i'll look at the photo book and have a good cry. no. don't feel like crying. maybe i'll listen to music and watch top gear. i just retrieved 7 gigs of music from computer2.

back to computers. if i can teach myself to hook up the hard drive externally, i have three other hard drives i can get the data off of. ooooooh. i know there's not much, but i've lost a lot of web designs (those i didn't keep on purpose, and i should have) and cam photos over time. anything i find is treasure.

my only lament is software. when computer1 was set up, i got hooked UP with software, Office, Adobe Creative Suite and Cool Edit Pro. i got a lot of other stuff, too, including games, but i never played. those are just the programs i used all the time and the ones i'm going to miss the most when i reinstall windows. it's time i put on my big girl panties and either learn to pirate software, or find free programs that will do what i need. i used Office to keep up on my secretary skills and self publish, i'm a whiz with formatting. i used Cool Edit Pro for encoding wavs to mp3s, i know i can find a program that will do that. then i can podcast and record my work again, since someone once sent me a bitchin' USB mic once. and i used Creative Suite or every fucking thing. editing photos, making digital art, design . . . web design. i taught myself flash and fireworks. ugh. never mind.

i'll just put off reinstalling until i do some stuff. it's all on computer2. i can record wavs on computer1 and transfer them for encoding. (this is all if i can get the OS running again, of course) opposite with design. i can do it on computer2 and transfer it over to computer1. one of them is getting a new hard drive, i just haven't decided just yet which one. doc bought a shiny new hard drive about a year ago on ridiculous sale. so it will go into a machine. i'd say put it in the dell and resurrect that, just for shits and giggles, but i think he threw the dell out. i had nothing on that system, and it was a decade old, but i'm having a good time with my frankensteining plans. anyway. calming down now, evil laughter subsiding. wastededucation has unknowingly created a monster. two systems to play with and a lap top to count on is enough.

okay, time to send doc to bed. the sun is up and i'm wanting to let the light in. i can't do that with him on the couch.

oh, and if you're on the east coast, be prepared and careful and if you can, while you're running around preparing, vote early and get it over with before the storm hits. i don't care who you vote for, just make sure you vote. and i hope halloween isn't ruined for anyone.

follow me on twitter @cydniey and facebook http://facebook.com/kristin.c.egger both with alert you when i make an lj entry and all my tweets go to facebook because i hate them too much to actually post there.
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