Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

on cats and spiders and mental illness

i slept last night. for five hours. then i slept another three this morning/afternoon. i finally feel rested. no nightmares or insomnia. it was wonderful. you have no idea how happy i was when i came out here to the living room and looked at the clock and it was 6. i had the blinds down in my room so i didn't know the sun was coming up. and simon stayed with me until i fell asleep, cuddled against my back. and when i woke up he was tangled up in my legs, sound asleep. i love this cat. i love all my cats, but my love for simon is still growing with each new wonderful thing he does and each new thing i learn about him.

felix has been getting along better with simon. they will both sleep on the couch with me if i nap in here. if i'm in bed, simon rules. if i'm on the loveseat, felix rules. simple the way they have it worked out.

felix is now a part time outside cat. his howling at the window all the time just got to me and i started letting him out. most of the time he comes right back to me. at night, though he goes out a-roaming. last night he got into a fight. from the clumps of fur in his claws, i would guess he got the better of the other cat. but he did have a slobbery bite on his shoulder. it wasn't bleeding. so he got off okay. glad he can hold his own.

i read a news story today about a schizophrenic woman with cancer who does not believe she has cancer having her medical rights taken away by the court today. her three sons want her to have life saving (but potentially life-ending) surgery to remove the tumors. i'm not sure how i feel about this. i wonder what doc would do. i don't know that he'd ever have to because i'm a hypochondriac and i would believe any illness they told me i had. but if my paranoia got the better of me and i didn't believe, i really wonder what doc would do in that position. he's already in charge of my medical care. he's in charge of everything in my life, he's my guardian as well as my husband.

our roof is covered with small gravel. i don't know why, but it must have something to do with the shingles. but when it rains, because there are no gutters here (why would you need the expense in the desert?), the small gravel rains down on the sidewalk out back and the driveway. i swept all that up today. i was getting tired of walking on it. i don't wear shoes, so it was kind of a pain. i also did a spider web sweep of the patio.

the other night i was on the patio and called out to doc, "get the bug spray!" without telling him why. he grabbed the bug spray and came out onto the patio and saw what was holding me at bay: a big black spider. "how many times do i have to tell you spiders aren't bugs?" he asked, then SQUISH, no more spider. i hate spiders. we have little ones that jump, those i especially hate. but the big black ones scare me. i ran into a black widow when i was a kid and have feared black spiders ever since. back east, it was the brown ones i was afraid of. those are the ones that bite and more than once i got bit by one. i never caught one biting me, but it taught me not to sleep in the nude.

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