today was a good sleep day

i got a lot of sleep last night and today. i feel refweshed. and i did it without medication or giving up coffee altogether. when i started falling asleep on the couch i got up and went to bed instead of sleeping on the couch for a few hours of waking up and sleeping. once i went to bed and snuggled in with sai sai, i went right to sleep. i woke up at around 3:30am and just rolled over and went back to sleep. i wasn't having any nightmares, so i didn't feel the need to get up and get it out of my head.

i told my shrink i started writing again. slowly. a few bastardized haikus and one god awful piece about doc just don't count. no. they do. i put effort into them. i just need to try harder. i keep thinking it will come but maybe i need to make it happen. i need to be around people. they inspire me. i love doc, but he doesn't inspire me. my frustration with him just doesn't last long enough to translate into words.

i could play with a rhyming dictionary for a while and see if that sparks anything. my recent musical choices have come back to haunt me. Peter Murphy's "Cuts You Up" and 10,000 Maniacs "Don't Talk" keep fighting it out in my head and i don't particularly like either of them. maybe ill surf doc's youtube favorites for a while and see what inspires me.