i think i may just express myself in pictures from now on. i'm so frustrated with language. words are just so complicated.
i've been trying to jam some poetry in my head, like i used to do. sometimes i come up with something right before i go to sleep, but i never like it so i never write it down. the thing has to have one or two great starting lines that stick with me, then i keep it. or if i know it builds up to a really good line or two. but if it's just ordinary, i don't even bother.
i'm thinking about collecting some stuff and trying to get it published by an independent press. i've even been thinking about The Book I Wrote and wondering if there is an indie publisher that would see the meaning in it. after a rewrite, not a big one, but a review of what's in there and a redirection away from a mainstream audience, which i was writing for before, this is what my manager wanted. pity that didn't work out. if we'd gone with the spoken word, we might have had a chance. that's where my talent is.
kathy acker got published. and i loved her work, i'm no where near her caliber. but i think i've been distracted by "mainstream" recognition, when what i really want to do is share my work with people who will get it.
i just don't know where to start.