Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

wow, that was trippy

i woke up at 7 pm, thinking it was 7 am, totally blanked on the day. i called doc to get my bearings, he sounded definitely annoyed. as part of my timeline piecing together, i asked him where he was hoping it would jog my memory, and he snapped back, "out". okay, whatever.

oh shit, i just remembered he wanted me to meet with the realtor today and i said no. i told him i didn't want to be involved, i told him i resented that i had been chosen as the representative of the group. and he still tells me today that if i don't meet the realtor, neither will he because he has plans.

that's right, he was supposed to stay home and pack today with me. figures.

i think i made him upset today when i went into the bedroom and talked to kelli for an hour. he even came in (this blew both kel and i away) and asked if everything is okay. kelli's response (that only i could hear) was, "how are we supposed to talk about you when you're in the room, dumbass?" so kelli. but it was true. i told him everything was fine.

and he got me a hoagie from subway and chips and dip from walmart before he went "out".

it's only taken me two hours, but i've put together most of it.

and he talks on the phone in the bedroom exclusively. he never has a conversation in front of me. what's his deal?

and now the house we saw is on me because i didn't meet with the realtor again. i'm sorry, putting in the torture teeth and standing in the sun for god knows how long to meet with a woman to whom he apologized for me. when i wasn't doing anything wrong. argh, what a fuckball. and how could i meet her without him there to pick lint off of me? christ.

definitely getting the rucksack, too. that way i can bring both my blankets. i'll be carrying my pillow. i have to find and stash my mp3 player and what batteries i can find. i only get an hour to a set of batteries, and my laptop has a four hour battery life. i don't want to waste that all at once. it's going to be a long three days. i packed all my written journals and books and i don't know where they are. and my meds aren't going to be here by the 30th. i guess it's best if i leave, after i pay for my meds, i won't have any money left over for rent. but i'll have three month's worth of meds, which will give me time to decide if i'm going to go off of them in the stability of kelli's house, or find a shrink and continue them if i'm not adjusting well.

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