the other place was cleaner, though no newer. and by that i mean built in the 60's (which is ancient around here). i had my teeth in, so i was completely miserable. and the whole walk up doc was picking lint off of me and telling me to stop and drink some of the water i'd brought. and we passed the dreamy house he said was off the market with the for rent sign still up. i wanted to kill him.
so we got to the available house. retaining wall falling apart. check. bars on all windows and doors. magic. linoleum. tons. chocolate brown carpet that will clash with everything we own. got it. i found a room that was medium sized and pronounced that i i would live in it.
when we got home he made some off handed comment about my negativity ruining it. so i came up with a few good things about the place. which yes, i hated. there were no washer and dryer. he said we'd buy used ones, but i've heard that before with my dad in a rented house and we went to a laundry for two years. yes. i'm comparing him to my dad. in some ways they are a lot alike.
then last night when he got home from the guys', i asked him how he felt about the place and he didn't like it anymore. 13 days left. still no van reserved or truck or hell, even researched.
what do you think, kids, is he going to make it to the deadline?
while the realtor was unlocking the door, doc was busying himself picking more cat fur off of my shirt, pinching my skin, until i shot him a look and backed away from him. then, while we were inside, the motherfucker APOLOGIZED for me, explaining i don't get out much. all i was doing was going through the house and inspecting things like i used to see my parents do when i was a kid. to a complete stranger. just writing about it now, i am so filled with hate for him. apologized when i wasn't doing anything wrong, or anti social or psychotic. fuck him to hell.
the truck is broken and he won't drive it. something to do with the transmission, the thing we just spent two months rent replacing. to me, this is the responsibility of the mechanic who did the original work. instead, the car is just sitting there. and will likely just sit at a new house.
there were a couple of days this week i really thought he was going to pull it out. i even gave a rest to the running list of things in my head that i will have to give up if i go to pittsburgh. i was foolish. i had hope. my check goes in tuesday. that night i'll take my knife (i got followed to and from the store the other night) and go up to trop and take the bus fare out of the ATM. i already thought of a place to stash it that won't get packed this week.
i'll also order the duffel bag i found. it's army surplus and huge, but it has a zipper, so it will be easy and tidy to live out of. i may get a rucksack, too. my backpack is big enough for my laptop and toiletries and food for three days. but if i need more room than is in the duffel back, the rucksack would be good to have. because i suddenlt remembered the other day i would need blankets and towels. the basement is unheated, it will be cold in the pittsburgh winter, hee. blankets a must.
M wants doc and i to make him an offer on his old TV. what a cockscratch. firstly, he doesn't seem to get that there is no doc and i. secondly, what a dick move. anyway. doc talked to him yesterday about the house we looked at and got nothing but negativity and bullshit from him. so doc decided he didn't want the TV. but he's not going to talk to M about it. so i guess we just leave it in the mddle of the living room, blocking human access to one half of the living room.
i am surrounded by idiots.