Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

back up into the 50s

i woke up twitchy this morning. i totally freaked out at one point. doc's home with me to keep an eye on me. i took two more xanax and have calmed down a bit. snakes on the floor, threatening the cats and i have to keep them on the couch with me or in their high spots. where the snakes can't get them and hurt them. the snakes don't bother me, they just go after the cats. doc doesn't see them. he doesn't understand the danger. he doesn't get it at all.

the voices in my head tell me to kill myself. one of them suggested i kill the cats first so i can die knowing that they won't need to be taken care of. i have two bottles of trazadone, that has to be enough to kill me. i can't kill the cats, though. i couldn't hurt them. but myself, i could hurt. i could die. i could end this, doc will be free.

i'm glad doc is home with me today. i'm just lost in the dark forest.

  • dry hot and dusty as hell

    My last surviving grand parent died a couple of weeks ago. Two days to the hour o my Nana's death, my favorite cat, Boo, died in my arms. The grief…

  • Hey there, hi there, ho there

    I'm back, bitches and bastards, TC paid for a forever pass, I should use it. The cops came over and did a welfare check about a month ago. My…

  • Got Caught Stealing

    Having had yet another clever thing stolen by a bunch of what I have to assume are white middle aged hate macines; The line in my twitter profile…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.