if i can just get through the next two hours, it will be dark. then things will be better. NCIS will be on at 4. around sunset.
the xanax is kicking in. i'm starting to feel better.
why can i fall asleep while doc is getting ready to go, but i can't go back to sleep after he leaves. my mind is spinning. i'm headed for the dark forest. i don't want to be in the dark forest. i want to be in my happy place, the beach at rehoboth. the first vacation i went on after leaving douchebag. kelli and i met two friends at the beach and stayed in their hotel room and spent a lot of the time at the beach and at gay clubs. fun times. hence, my happy place.