last night i went to get a soda and i got to the door and spilled the whole fucking thing. i was too discouraged to go get a new one last night. i just got back from the corner store, got another soda and didn't spill it this time.
why, when i'm alone during the day, i'm a scared, depressed and hopeless, but in the middle of the night i'm at my happiest. even though i'm still alone and i have to be quiet.
well, i don't have to be quiet for much longer, M is up getting ready for what i assume is work. he doesn't talk to us really, even when he's not mad.
but i have nothing to do, tv pretty much sucks for the next couple of hours and i'm out of pot but i'm giddy. maybe i should only sleep in four hour stretches and that will help.
i do know that today, if i'm feeling badly, i'm going to take some night nurse and knock myself out for a few hours. maybe it will clear my cursed stuffy head.
if i wake up at this time in a couple of months, i'll be up for sunrise.
i have to go find doc's inhaler, i can barely breathe.