Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

much better now

the extra viibryd did the trick. i don't feel suicidal anymore. good timing, too. i was about to go take the pills and leave doc a goodbye message on his phone. now i can't believe i felt that low. never try to sleep to the travel channel. that's my new rule. i have to wake up before doc from now on and avoid that. something about the narration just puts me in a bad mood. add that to the low i've been feeling since i stopped the pristiq.

the cats should be getting up soon. felix got up and ate and then went back to his hidey spot to finish his nap. i have to remember to feed them wet food tonight. i forgot last night. it's just a treat for them, but i like to be consistent. leeloo, felix and freddie love the wet food. jack just eats it because it's there.

i can't believe we're changing the clocks back this weekend. i'm not ready for the sun to go down at 6. i guess i'm never ready for winter. i don't mind the cold so much, it's not that bad and i have my trusty space heater. it's the shorter days that i can't stand. on the other hand, i'll be sleeping through sunrise more often. my sleeper worked last night, although i took it at 5. i woke up at eleven thirty and doc was just leaving to go get milk and a hair cut. i could have changed the channel and gone back to sleep, but decided to get up. i should have slept more. i may have woken up in a better mood.

i hate mood swings. i hate being hopeless. the whole reason i've been sleeping out here on the couch is to wake up in a better mood with a better outlook on life without the morning panic attacks. i don't miss the attacks, but i miss waking up happy. tomorrow will be better. i'll take my sleeper earlier so i wake up before doc does and avoid the tv ugliness.
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