Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

74 and rainy

doc and i got in a huge fight yesterday. it was about my weight and the fact that my hair is falling out. it was over pretty quickly, but it was intense and involved a lot of yelling. first i'm too fat, then i'm too thin. he's talking about me bringing my weight up, but i've stopped losing now. S came to pick me up from the dentist and didn't recognize me. then i became a running joke between doc and his friends. nice to know, made me feel real good. the whole thing was just ugly and hurtful.

they weighed me at the doctor. fully clothed, with doc martens on, i weighed 146. for 5'7" that's not too thin. and about my hair falling out, it happened to my mom for a while when she was a few years younger than i am now. i kind of expected it. it's only obvious when i shave my head, so i've decided to come to terms with my curls and keep my hair in tact.

i wish my weight and eating habits weren't such an issue to doc. he gets really upset about it. but i wanted to be thin. how many years did i bitch on here about my being fat. i know i'm not in good shape, and could probably use daily workouts, but i'm where i wanted to be. and i didn't try to do it. i didn't change my eating habits. i took ephedrine for about a month, but i lost weight for months. so i don't think that had anything to do with it. no, i don't eat often, or very healthy. but i never have. it's just a big issue now because i'm thin. i don't think that's fair.

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