Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

87 degrees at the noon hour, yay

i'm trying not to be so scared today. it seems no matter how long i lay awake in bed thinking and cuddling with felix, when i come out into the main living area, i get scared and suffer panic attacks. so today i'm working on that. i took my xanax upon rising and busied myself with making coffee and getting my ice water together and then smoking a cigarette. i'm still scared, but functional. if i could isolate what the fear is, it would make it easier.

i avoided all 9/11 coverage, alll soldier movies and shows and even commercials about commemorative stuff for 9/11 yesterday. it wasn't that hard watching NCIS reruns all day and kitchen nightmares. around 2 i saw in the guide that there was a special on and i thought about watching it but it was on faux news channel and i will have nothing to do with that channel. i used to watch it for the comic relief, but since republicans started holding the govt hostage, it just makes me mad. to me the republicans are self-delusional to the point of being a hazard to this government. can't someone find some dirt on cantor or boehner or mitchell? there's got to be a lynching in mitchell's past, you can see it in his eyes when he looks at the president. something to take away their power and influence.
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