Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

dry air, highs in the 90s

i almost asked him for a divorce this weekend. i had to hold my tongue. that's a thing i can't come back from. once it's out there, there's no taking it back.

he says he can't go a day without wanting to strangle me in his head. that made me feel like shit. i try so hard to stay out of his way.

M has a girlfriend so he's been spending a lot of time at her place. with doc at work every day, i get a lot of alone time. the way i like it. right now i'm just waiting for doc to go to work.

and what do i do all day? i turn on the news stations and lay on the couch in a semiconscious state for several hours until it's time for shows to come on that i want to pay attention to. this way i absorb news all day, and then at the end i listen to the summations of what i've been half hearing all day and it all comes together and makes sense. and that's how i want to spend my life. at least right now. i have no energy for anything else.

i still haven't made my mammogram appointment. i'm afraid to call kelli until i do because she will yell at me. i can't hear the disappointed "cydniey".
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