and i can't tell him to leave me alone because he'll get all upset about it. he'll say no and keep harassing me. why does he have to be a cock about everything? he can't just be a human being. he has to be mean to everyone. which i don't care about. it's embarrassing, but as long as it's not directed at me, i'm fine with it. when no one else is around, all he's left with is me. and i'm tired of taking it.
i'm crazy, not bad. i'm not a bad person. i may be unbalanced and a bit scary at times, but i'm on my meds now and i'm much better than i was, say, ten years ago. even then i wasn't a bad person, but back then, doc was still in love with me. now he's not and he doesn't mind showing his hatred for me whenever he can.
now he comes out like nothing is wrong. talking to me. i just want to beat him in the face. i want to give him a black eye and break his jaw. i want to hurt him the way he hurts me.