Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

rainy and chilly

i woke up in a hurry today because i heard knocking. i was about half way dressed when i realized the knocking had been part of my dream. no panic today.

i found a bunch of reviews online for my apartment complex and they were all complaints about the management. someone even called them ghetto apartments, which is what we call them. the apartments are nice. fireplace, dishwasher, washer/dryer combo, pool, gym. but the apartments are slowly falling apart and the maintenance team isn't up for it. we've been waiting weeks for them to come fix some loose wires in a ceiling fan. not a big fix, but it's taking forever to get to. but i love my apartment. i love my balcony, even though it has a shit view of the dirt hill. doc thinks it's too small, but i love it. it needs to be cleaned out.

cleaning out is going to be hard. two years ago i packed up a bag of garbage from my workroom and i couldn't throw it away until doc went through it, which he did last night, finally. he ended up keeping all the fabric for rags and recycling colored tissue paper. i left after that. i didn't want to know. throwing anything away here is difficult. it makes me not even want to try. he doesn't want to get rid of anything. especially anything that could be fixed in the future. so we have to haul it around. like the three dead coffee makers we have. i don't know why we're keeping them. i don't know if he thinks he's going to fix them, i have to challenge that.

and i've tried sneaking garbage out of here, but he notices what's gone and quizzes me about it and then yells at me. one time he left a long dead vacuum cleaner on the front porch, which is the last bastion of garbage going out. so i thought he wanted me to take it to the dumpster. so i did. i don't know if i've ever regretted something so much in my life. he wanted to fix it. he didn't want it thrown away. why did i put it in the dumpster instead of leaving it out for the next person. BECAUSE IT WAS BROKEN. these are apartment dwellers, they don't have infinite space for workshops to fix stuff like this. it's exasperating.

it rained this morning before i got up. the grass was still all wet when tech ran down there to eat some. everything smelled so nice and clean. the green of the lawn seemed to glow with the moisture. it was beautiful. had i been tech, i would have run down there, too. then he hid behind a bush and i thought i lost him. i finally saw his orange tail around the corner of the bush and went and got him. it was an unauthorized escape, after all. i take him out daily, he doesn't need to sneak out. but he's a little slow on the training curve. just the way he was raised, very laid back, no real training. no concept of the word "no".

felix slept with me last night as i fell asleep, which is rare. he's usually there in the morning, but not at night. he climbed up on the bed and looked out the window a couple of times and then came over and curled up with me next to the wall. his blankie is on that side and he likes to curl up in it. he was out plaing with feral cat the other night. he was only gone for an hour or so when i happened to go outside and catch him. he came up the stairs easily enough, then got stubborn once we got to the door. i pushed him in the door while i pushed tech in to keep from getting out. i see wisdom in the saying "like herding cats".

i had wild dreams last night. they all took place in this crazy house that i dream about periodically. on the outside the house is nice, usually surrounded by big fir trees. but inside the house takes a wacky turn. there are all kinds of levels and secret rooms, lots of windows everywhere. when i woke up, everyone in my dream and i were hiding in a secret room with the police beating on the door. that was the knocking i heard that woke me up. i love dreams about the house. even when they end up weird, i still love them. it's a comfortable place. the floors are always covered with dappled sunlight from the sun through the fir trees. it's always warm. and if you look hard enough, you can always find a regular room with big comfortable furniture.

it looks like more rain. the clouds are getting darker and more menacing. yes. more please. and please let feral cat have a space to hide from the rain, though a bath would do him good.

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