Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

cloudy and mild

we're not allowed to smoke here. it's in the lease. but, like many of our neighbors, we do. so, since we're waiting for maintenance to come over and fix M's ceiling fan, we need to hide the ashtray and my smokes and such. which doc did this morning before he went to bed, apparently not thinking it was sunday. so i got up and the table was bare where i keep my things. panic. not over the things that were missing, just that things had been moved and anything was missing at all. so i looked around and didn't find them and realized i'd have to wake doc up to ask. i've been taught never to wake doc up. so, panic. i finally woke him up and asked him and the sky didn't collapse. the whole time felix is following me around meowing his good morning greetings and getting underfoot. and i got exasperated with him for that. i'm shaking so bad it's taken me twice as long to type this as usual. i hate panic. well, no, when used normally, panic can be a helpful thing. i hate panic for no reason.

later . . .

i'm starting to calm down. i can type now. now i feel raw and worn out. it takes a lot out of me. heart racing for an hour, full adrenaline going, it's exhausting.

now i have my coffee and that's a good thing.

it's so cloudy today, they say there's a chance of rain today and tomorrow. that would be great. the wash by where i live is completely dry, not even a trickle of stagnant water. it would be nice to get some may showers. just a little moisture on the valley. it's about to be the dry season soon, with no real rain until monsoon season, if it even happens. it didn't do much for us last year. but i always look forward to it. waiting for the heavy rains that just dowse the valley and cause stupid drivers to make stupid mistakes. like driving into deep water and getting stuck. that happens here far more often than you'd think. one would think that drivers would learn. the county even does a billboard campaign about staying out of deep water and not drowning. people just don't listen. or read. there's always a variety of small cars with female drivers who just thought they could make it. the funny ones are the big trucks who think they can get through anything and get stuck in the middle of the water and have to stand on their roofs until rescue comes along. those amuse me.

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