Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

doc and i got into a huge fight yesterday. he wasn't feeling well. which i didn't know. or i would have tread far more lightly around him. we now know the damage a yogurt cup will do when hurled into the bedroom at a certain angle. we also know that we clean up our own messes. i was told to clean the yogurt and i refused. not my mess. a half an hour later it was over. but so unnecessary. and exhausting. he got so upset over nothing. totally overreacted, and blamed me for it all.

i mistakenly said i was afraid he was going to leave me, and even though it isn't a real fear, he's been playing it for all it's worth. my bigger worry is that i'll leave him. but i'm used to the status quo here and i don't want to leave. he told me i was pushing him further away. and i'm trying my best. my best isn't good enough, in fact it's been working against me. not encouraging is it? as long as i feel safe, which i do, i don't want to leave. he's a grumpy hypocrite but he doesn't make me feel like i'm in danger. and safe is my biggest need. and i have it here. flying yogurt cups notwithstanding, it wasn't flying at me.

congratulations to jloopy becoming a GILF. all the best to the baby.

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