doc thinks i'm narcoleptic. i'm supposed to research it today and see what i can find out. i, too, want to know why i'm so tired all the time. am i just bored? or do i need to see a doctor?
if i were a boy, would i be gay, straight or bi? i wonder about that sometimes. i've never come up with an answer.
i've been thinking a lot about what doc said about not having any interests anymore. a lot of the stuff i used to do, i don't remember how to do. and i'm not sure why i don't just learn it again. maybe i need to get interested in something else and throw the old stuff in every so often. i don't know, something needs to change, something in me.
what's wrong with me? i sleep all the time, i lose 100 pounds, i have no interest in anything . . . sounds like i'm depressed, but i'm not. i'm on enough antidepressants to keep anyone happy. so if it isn't depression, doc assumes it's laziness. in large part, i agree with him. but i can't find my motivation. but i'm beginning to wonder seriously if i am sick or something. i'm supposed to go get bloodwork done for my shrink, but i don't know where the lab is and i've been forgetting about it because of that. being sick means going to the doctor, which means leaving the house. plus there's the lack of symptoms. being lazy isn't sick. i don't feel sick. just tired and unstimulated. i don't know. i just don't know.