Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i've no idea what the weather is like

i've been trying to write about doc and i just can't find the passion. it's the biggest thing going on in my life and i can't write about it. and it sucks. i don't have writer's block, i just have a total lack of feeling. i can't find the anger and channel it. i can feel it when incidents happen, but i'm too incoherent at the time to write it down.

he asked me last night what i'm interested in and i told him i didn't know. the truth is, nothing. i am interested in nothing. i'm interested in writing, i just can't do it. i'm interested in sleeping. i'm interested in watching tv, kind of. it's white noise as i get lost in my own head. i have no energy, no desire. and my stomach hurts most of the time. like this morning, like right now.

felix won't stay in the house. i'm starting to worry about him. it's been a long time since i had an outdoor cat. i'm going to have to take him to get his shots if he's going to be playing and romping outside. he just won't come home when i call him. he's stubborn that way and usually waits for doc to get home and comes in with him. this morning doc went out looking for him when he didn't get greeted at the door by felix. he didn't find him, but after he got back it wasn't long before he heard howling from the front porch and in ran felix when doc opened the door. i haven't seen him since i woke up.

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