Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

it's warmer out there than it is in here

i just signed the lease for another year. doc is most unhappy about it. what can we do? if we go month to month, our rent goes up $300 dollars per month. by signing the lease i locked in cheap rent for another year. that's the bright side. heh, i found a bright side.

i have to get up the nerve to ask M to take me to the DMV to get my ID renewed. i need to do it before it expires next month. i don't know what i'm going to bribe him with, maybe a bottle of booze.

doc got me stuff to make a curry, though the lamb was left on the bone. i think i'm just going to brown the pieces whole and let the meat stew off the bone, the pieces are small enough to negotiate the bone while eating. he found something i will cook so he's buying it to get me to get out of my world and cooking. doing something, anything.

he doesn't like that i like my reality to actual reality. why not? in my delusional world, he still loves me. in my reality i'm still creative, just blocked. in actual reality, i've lost it. and if not the creativity, then the know how of the processes. i've forgotten the 90's and 00's. in my reality, that doesn't come up.

felix has stayed inside for a couple of days. i asked doc if he could finally have a collar so no one calls the pound on him or tries to trap him. he's a whore for food and he's not very bright. doc acquiesced and said he would get him a collar. that will make me less uneasy about him out bopping around. i still wish he'd stay home instead, but there's no controlling that.

it was cold in my room this morning. i got up at six and peed and rushed back to the covers. i got up at nine thirty and rushed to get dressed. doc was curled up on the couch in his sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. i woke him up and told him to go to bed. then i huddled in front of the space heater for a half an hour. very chilly this morning, and that was with the bedroom window closed. i'm glad i didn't leave it open. felix would have been wrapped around my face for warmth. it's only happened a couple of times, but it's most uncomfortable.

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