i got to have the bedroom window open again last night. again it was dreamy. i love the fresh desert air.
i went up and paid the rent today, they were so busy i didn't even mention the lease. or the work order to fix M's ceiling fan.
doc's chair broke again. it really is time to get him a new one. so he's been sitting on the love seat with me. it makes me so nervous to sit that close to him. though today i asked for a hug and he gave me one. that's the second time in six months i've asked for a hug and i've gotten one both times. he can say no and i would understand, he is not a touchy feely kind of guy. we never really did cuddle or hold hands or anything like that.
sometimes my head spins like a top
it goes around very fast
but never seems to go anywhere
during these times i am lost
in my own little reality
like nothing around me matters
none of it is real to me and
i don't know how to snap out of it
i will usually take a nap
and wake up with a much calmer brain
