Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

felix is laying next to me

chloe's ashes are home. they're in a small floral tin with her name on the bottom. they came with a plaster paw print in a heart shaped acrylic box. there's a sticker on the bottom that says, "chloe left her paw print on my heart". doc has been in bed since ten, but i don't think he's slept at all. i've been distraught and distracted all day. it's going to be a long day and night. more so for doc, who has to work. this just opens the wound again. we have a small memorial/blessing planned whenever doc feels up to it. after that, we can begin to heal. i hope. i hope doc can heal, and quickly. i don't want him to pull away from the other cats, which he hasn't done so far, but i worry.

so i don't feel very good today. i feel open and raw. i just want to curl up and go to sleep. time is just not passing today. i could eat myself into a coma today. luckily there's no food in the apartment that i like. or that i feel like making. i'm simply to lazy to binge eat.

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