Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

thank you

doc and i both thank you all for your well wishes and sympathies. it really meant a lot to doc.

we've sent chloe's body to be cremated. we bought an urn online, doc picked it out and handled all of that. i made the phone call to the vet to inquire about cremations. the nurse helpfully told me they also handled euthanasia, i told her it was too late.

i can't believe she's gone. she's been my constant companion for the past few weeks. it's so lonely without her here. i'm so used to taking care of her, i look for her kennel on the couch when i get up in the morning. i still look around to see where she's sleeping. i miss her jumping in my lap, and begging me for smoked turkey.

and i'm holding it all inside because doc is holding it all inside and i don't want to tread on his grieving. i tried to get him to talk about it once but it didn't work. he says he's planning to mourn when the ashes come back.

i wish we'd been able to cremate henry. this whole thing with nursing chloe and watching her decline and slowly die has brought the whole henry ordeal back to the fore. i don't know how many more times i can do that. it tears me apart. it would tear anyone apart. i know i'm not alone here. i just feel very isolated with my grief.

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