doc is dealing fairly well. he leaned over the couch yesterday morning and told me a bunch of stuff that i really needed to hear. this morning he was himself, which was nice. he even asked me how yesterday was, i told him today would be better. the vet stuff was utterly terrifying. i never like to hear the cats are sick. and the experience with henry was so traumatic. i guess i was in denial about how sick chloe was getting, and so was doc. we are both mad at ourselves and the important thing is that we don't take it out on each other. chloe is in treatment, everything will be fine. our schedules will change a little and maybe having her care to focus on will take the pressure off each other. have something else to focus on. besides so relentlessly each other.
i tried to tell him a story about me and felix, but it went so horribly wrong in the middle i didn't know how to finish it. and he said "i don't mean to nitpick but i got the beginning and part of the middle. but did it end?" humiliating, i can't even speak around him anymore. i felt so silly. the first time i try to talk on my own without any prompting and it made no sense. i've got to work on this. so next time i speak, i make some sort of sense.
