Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

again i don't know why i try

doc was almost out the door when i asked him for a couple of tacos, as i had overheard him mention he was going to del taco on the phone. that was when i learned he was going over to a friend's and wouldn't be back for several hours. i told him i was planning on staying up late and he looked totally exasperated and i said, "if you're not going to be home, i won't bug you then". then he told me to have a good night and left. i really hope he has fun, he needs it. he really does. he needs time away from me. as much as that sucks for me, it's true. and i hope he finds some release tonight, he's wound pretty tight.

i'm just glad he's not here in this mood. i wish i would have known he was going out, just . . . because it would be nice to know his plans.

tomorrow i'm going to the dollar store and spending the $20 gift card i got last year from kelli. doc is leaving me bus fare and spending money. i just hope they are open. they should be. if not it will be a nice walk and bus ride. it's going to be sunny and warm tomorrow. i'll get myself something bright-shiny for myself for xmas. the food we've gotten and the socks are cool, but i need something shiny and stupid.

i have to stay up until at least three to pass my pee threshold. i stop drinking fluids three hours before i go to bed. i don't know how much later than that i'll stay up. i've been searching for coverage on don't ask don't tell's repeal but it's hard to come by. i'm also following closely the going's on with korea. bbc news starts at 2 and network news starts at three. that's my big plan for the night. oh yeah, and have a fire and burn some incense. a nice zen evening by myself. M is asleep, all i have to be is quiet, there's no limit on how mellow i can get.
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