Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

who cares what it's like outside?

i made a conscious decision today to stay awake and made myself a half a pot of coffee. so why am i so bitter about it? i'm actually having a wee panic attack over it. i've got stuff to do today, and it won't take me long but it was either coffee or couch and i've been blowing shit off recently. doc has been really patient with me and i should pay that back today by getting something done to clean up and make things better around here to live.

see, my clock got kicked off its perch on the side of the bed so i have no idea what time it is. i don't have the skills to mathematically translate doc's clock's time zone to my own in the morning, i usually don't even try. this morning i did try and that was a mistake. i came to full wakefulness ultra confused and not having any solid clue what time it was, i wandered out into the living room. i tried to smoke and had a coughing fit and then i took my glasses off and laid down on the couch. once doc said to drink some coffee, i took the hint that he wanted me to stay up today.

i've emptied the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen and filled the brita container. now i've scooped the litterbox and taken out the garbage and old litter. all i have left is some vacuuming, which i don't see how i'm going to do, it involves vacuuming a rug with no stiff backing. and some wet vaccing of my choice. i think i may just shake the rug out and then go over what procedure he sees for the rug when he gets up tonight. i'm not going to fuck up the rug by going at it with the powerful vacuum. i knew when i got it that it wouldn't be an easy rug to clean, but it's so cool, i couldn't help but get it, it was on clearance at target.

i feel better having done stuff and maybe i can sleep this evening for a while before doc gets up. i've been doing well staying up without the ephedrine diet pills. i drink coffee at 9 and 10 and take cat naps during letterman. then i'm awake for craig ferguson. it's the cat naps that get me going again, i always feel alert after a 10 minute nap. last night i stayed awake for the chlilean miner interview and then slept through the tracy morgan part of the show. the miner interview was cool. the interpreter was good and the miner himself was a real character. and letterman wasn't a dick for once. he seemed to get that his sarcasm wasn't translating and kept it to a minimum.

we paid rent, i need to pay my webhost but i have to wait until doc checks the balance in the bank. his taking so many days off to stay with me really hurt us financially. so i've been better about needing him around me to watch over me. i need friends so i don't need a babysitter. doc keeps too close an eye on me, i just want to hang out. once he's had a drink he loosens up and quits with the scrutiny. this morning he stayed up for a purpose but then went to bed instead. he never gets done with what he wants to on his days off. i feel bad for that, but i want him to sleep and catch up on his sleep while he's off and has nothing really pressing to do during the day.

they're fixing the roof next door, i wonder if that is going to wake him up. then he'll roll out here all grumpy and silent. i'd rather he slept through the pounding. it would be better for him, he's only been asleep a couple of hours. i know i'd be hell on wheels if something woke me up and kept me up only two hours into my sleep. and getting up to hunt for felix outside doesn't count because i get to go back to sleep before i fully wake up. i'm still in disoriented mode and don't come out of it into bitch territory for a little while. i have to wake up enough to focus to be a bitch. doc says i can do it in my sleep, but i never remember that. i think he just takes my growling personally sometimes when he wakes me up.

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