when my alarm went off unexpectedly at 9:30 i freaked. then doc was there, rambling at me about the inspection and all manner of stuff that i wasn't catching because i'd only had 6 hours sleep and i didn't even have my clothes on yet. so i got up and, freaking out completely, tried to hold my shit together while he had his wee freakout of his own. i know i vacuumed some shit and went out on the front porch to smoke a half a smoke. at that point doc asked me to talk to M about answering the door while i was at my dentist appointment.
so i went in and talked to M about that and he's leaving at one and i wouldn't be home until 2. so i said okay and cancelled my appointment.
then i took my meds and had a burrito. since i'm not going to the dentist, i could eat this morning, so that was good. things are cleaned up and febreezed. my bit of freaking has calmed down. i am mellow. the only thing i have to do is listen for the door to knock and get the cats out of the room and i'm set to go. and hopefully there is some meaning in this world and they will come during the hours i would have been gone. plus M is going out, and as we all know, that somehow relieves me. i like to be alone in the apartment. whether the boys are asleep or just plain gone, i love it.
i must sleep pretty deeply for doc to have gotten over me to my alarm and switched it on. he could have just woken me up, but i think that might have been more jarring the way he was going at 120 miles an hour. we can sure get ourselves worked up about the most meaningless shit. it's just a simple inspection. silly doc and cyd.
i have to not forget to reschedule my dentist appointment.