Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

still in the 90s

this morning, no doc, no panic. again, i woke up in time to hang out with him but fell back to sleep. when i woke up again he was in bed. i lay there, trying to make a decision on whether or not to get up. i got up cautiously and did my morning thing, mouthwash, etc. no panic. came out here into the living room, M was already awake, so no mandate being quiet time. sat down and had a smoke, still no panic. so i got on with my day. that's only meant a few chores and i have many more to go, doc wrote on my list things for me to do.

it was my sleeping day. the day i hang out asleep on the couch. instead i'll do stuff and be sleepy all evening. doc has put a kibosh on the diet pills at night. i still take them when he's at work but when he's home it's a crap shoot. i take them to stay awake as late as i can so i can sleep until a decent tv hour in the morning. i'm so conflicted with my sleep schedule. i have been for a while but now it's worse.

and i need to be out of the house at 9:30 to get to my dentist appointment on monday. which is actually a blessing, i don't have to stay up so late on sunday. sundays are always rough on me, there is no tv of any interest on and i always forget about the on demand channels. but it's doc's first night back to work and that's always rough on me. so i can go to bed a couple hours early, and if i'm up early, that just gives me more time to hang out with doc on monday morning when he gets home.

i'm now debating curling up on the couch and making coffee. i need one or the other, my eyes are drooping and crossing. i think it will be coffee. coffee always wins. and now the coffee is brewing and i've put my pillow away instead of out on the couch. i surrender to the day. i'm up, i've eaten something, i've taken my meds (and i'm convinced that the pristiq i take acts as a stimulant on me) and it's time to just admit that i'm up and i'm committed to staying that way. though i may need artificial means. hell, the coffee is necessary. my altered body chemistry screams for it.

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