today i am wearing a girly shirt. i bought it at the thrift store months ago because it was really cheap and looked like it had never been worn or washed. i washed it, determined it was too small for me and hung it in the closet. today it was the reason i got out of bed. i was so looking forward to wearing it today. not that anyone but doc will notice it, but i feel feminine in it compared to my usual tshirts. the only downside to this shirt, or blouse, is that the sleeves are so short my bandage shows. i don't like that, but it's my own fault.
i miss the car. now that i'm thin again i want to go out to poetry readings again. now that i'm thin again i want to go eveywhere. i want to go back to the double down, but i have no one to go with. doc has had two bad experiences there and M no longer has any free time to go to the bar. i need to find a bar buddy. i need a place to find friends. all the friends i've found on chat live across the country or across the atlantic. not bar buddies.
today is another good day. i'm feeling relaxed, i've gone for my walk and it's so cool out i may go for another later. part of me wants to go lounge by the pool and read. i don't know why, though. the pool will be cold and i don't really want to get any sun. it just looked so inviting all deserted and blue and nice.