talked to kelli yesterday. she's doing good in the cooler but humid weather. the beach was hot and humid. i couldn't have coped. i would have fainted.
speaking of fainting, i did today. i made such a thump when i hit the ground that it got doc out of bed. oops. he made me eat a bowl of cereal. he threw around the "a" word (anorexia) today, and i denied it. i'm not driven enough to be anorexic. i'm more apathetic about food. i eat when it occurs to me or when i feel hungry. he's just noticing that i've gotten so thin because i've been hiding in the same oversize fat clothes for the entirety of the weight loss. now i can wear my military tshirts and white vnecks that he hasn't seen for years and they flatter me and he notices. but i don't have an eating disorder. i am not developing one, i am not entertaining the thought of one. period. end of subject. hopefully he won't bring it up again.
moving on, i need to get some new clothes. not many, just a couple of pair of jeans. the crotch is ripped out of my skinny jeans from me trying to wear them while i was gaining weight. while easy to conceal with my longer, bigger shirts, with my military and smaller tshirts it's just not subtle. so i'm wearing another pair of skinny jeans and they are falling off of me. so i need a couple pair of jeans. i'm good on cargos and cammos, good on dresses, too. not that i really wear dresses around the house, but i still have my plaid jumpers and a couple of other dresses in my closet.
i still haven't messed with my jewelry, that sounds like a good project for this afternoon: repopulate my fingers with lovely silver rings. maybe even wear a couple of my skull bracelets, one of bone and one of wood. the wood was tight on me before, now i'm guessing it won't be. i can't remember what else i have. it's been so long since i've been into my jewelry box.
so back to the jeans thing, i think i'll go to the goodwill next time i go to the pdoc. instead of catching the first bus out from there and going straight home, i can just go to the goodwill between the doc's and the bus stop. i'll have an hour to shop and try on clothes. i should be able to find a couple of pair of jeans, they're easy to find in the smaller sizes. i can likely find a pair of boxer shorts to wear under my skinny jeans so that the ripped out crotch isn't that big of a deal.
that gives me something to look forward to on the doctor trip. a purpose other than a 2 hour journey for 15 minutes of appointment. a shopping trip would make me feel a bit less bitter about it. plus it would prepare me to take another bus up to the dollar tree to spend the gift card kelli sent me in may. maybe if i go out and take the bus more doc will be less reluctant about teaching me to drive the scooter. i can't wait until it starts to cool down, i've really been using the 106 plus heat as an excuse not to go anywhere. it was a mild spring, i'm hoping for a mild and early fall.
