this week has been intensely symptomatic and rough. i thought this morning, when i got up at the ungodly hour of seven thirty, that it was tuesday. when i discovered what day it was and that it's the start of doc's days off, i got this weird feeling of panic. i think it's because i lost a couple of days. fucking incredible. ack i'm sick of it.
i still have a grip on my panic. if i feel myself getting iffy, i go into chat and either talk it out or just lurk and watch the conversation. i've given up on giving advice. i'm no good at it. i'm not at all sympathetic or empathetic enough over chat, where my tone can't be heard. and maybe not in general at all. it isn't that i think anyone is whining, i don't, i want to hear about what others are going through, i just have no idea what to say.
M just tried again to fix things, still nothing, rarr.
now it's back on. hooray.