Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

not to be myself

i feel good today. there are various reasons for that, not least that rent it paid, which is always a huge load off my mind. i start obsessing about it around the middle of the month and i stress out a little every time money is put out.

we had to buy a new vacuum cleaner this week. we were using an old one since our main one died and it just wasn't getting the job done. the cats shed. fact. we brush them frequently but they still shed. the canister was almost full on the new one after doing the couch and the living room and workroom. there's a pet fur removing hand vac attachment that was downright fun to use, it worked so well.

then i vacuumed and mopped the kitchen. many free range dust bunnies in there. the kitchen is always a project. i'm in charge of it because i can't stand it at all dirty. though doc would disagree and tell you i'm not really doing such a good job at it. i miss things sometimes. but mostly i keep the kitchen as spotless as i can. oog, there i go gritting my teeth again. i've got to stop that. whenever i think about or talk about and sometimes to doc, i end up gritting my teeth. that's just not good.

i'm ready for tuesday. i'm determined to think of it as a routine thing, not a special thing. i will start to travel more on the bus, and this week was the start of that. this tuesday will merely be a continuation. and the trips i can be proudest of because they are the longest i will be taking. the other trips will just be up and down flamingo. i realized another reason i need to make riding the bus routine is because we are moving next spring and may need the bus for many other things. i want to move closer to doc's place of employ, to make the commute shorter, but i have no idea what is in the area and what the buses are doing.

felix has finally found a hidey spot so he's not always in my view anymore. i was getting worried but as i saw him go back there today, i realized i should only worry at mealtime if i don't see him. he's jumped off the balcony a few times now. i don't think he'll make it habitual, the last time he spent a day and half a night outside, that had to suck. he's become a big nag. a few nights ago i was sleeping and it was past mealtime and as soon as i coughed he lay down next to me and chirped/squeaked into my ear until i gave up on sleep and got up to doc feeding them. and feeding time is a treat, they have a perpetual feeder of dry food available all the time, feeding time is canned food time, treat time. we spoil them rotten, and felix is rotten. except when he curls up on my lap or on the claw tube and looks so innocent and incapable of being bad at all.

today is a good tv day, house is on all day on usa network. i can lay down or type in here and not worry about changing channels. that to me is a good tv day. i'm just sitting here and chain smoking, which is bad, but not doing much else. i'm waiting for the temp to start dropping (around 7 pm) so i can turn on the dishwasher. i filled it. i'm debating hand washing the two things left in the sink.

oh, i didn't tell you the story of the board. doc decided, this is all him, by the way, to create a vent out into the open from the living room. we have a sliding glass door so he decided the best thing would be a board with a sideways window fan balanced on top of it. now, if there were a way to attach the fan to the top of the doorway, i might feel differently about this whole thing. but i digress, so he gets the board and the fan and getting them into the doorway together and balanced is a mighty production. i hate the whole thing. i finally told him that last night. now i've messed with the thing, after going out to do the litter box, for about thirty minutes, on and off and i can't get it together the way it's supposed to be. so i can expect to be chastised (he doesn't really yell at me, he just gets disappointed) for it unless i can muster up the will to get it together in the next few hours before he gets up. i'll try, because i really don't need the chastisement, to be honest. he finds enough wrong that i plain old miss, i can't have the board getting the better of me. i may try to put the fan on the bottom and see how that works out, or if it works out. doc said it won't be as effective because smoke rises, but i think the fan is powerful enough to suck the smoke out even if it's at floor level. and we won't know until we try it. did i mention i hate this fucking board idea?

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