Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

  • Mood:

from 85 to 60

a front rolled in and it went down 25 degrees. it's beautiful out. it's supposed to get cloudy and rain later on. but right now it's sunny and 58 and with the curtain over the open door, the breeze coming in is stifled. just enough for fresh spring air and a cool down without the a/c.

i wake up with my mind spinning and it doesn't seem to be slowing down today. i may have to take another xanax to shut it up. i have very little to do today and really just want to sleep through it. but i won't.

i'll find something to do to keep me busy. maybe clean up the planting table outside. i need to empty the pots into the potting soil bags and throw away a broken terra cotta pot. then shop vac the whole thing. that may lead to a big porch cleanup. it's cool enough to be outside working without getting overheated and it would take up a lot of time. i'm all about taking up time with projects. i wish i could get into the jewelry thing, but that will come. after i reclean the workroom and throw more stuff away. i'm in a purging place. we're moving out of here next year and the less i have to pack, the better.

i've been calling kelli almost every day. i'm so starved for human contact i can't help myself. M hangs out with me sometimes but mostly not and when we hang out we don't really talk. we watch movies or tv. i need to find friends here/reconnects with the couple of people i do know here. wait . . . one of them moved across the country, i know one person here. and i've lived here 10 years. that's sad. really pathetic. i don't know what to do to change it.

my back is covered with splotchy bruises and i didn't do anything to it. i strained it last week wet vacuuming, but that pain is gone now and the bruising remains. doc says i need to sit back more, i tend to sit indian style with my elbows on my knees, very hunched forward. so i've been trying to sit back. i stopped sleeping on my stomach after getting back problems, i now sleep flat on my back until i wake up at 6am, then i sleep/lay on my side until i get up at 9:30 to get ready to get doc up.

doc just called to tell me he got the electric bill paid, which is something i can stop freaking out about now. i can also stop getting up an hour early to try to get him up an hour early to have time to go pay it. whew. i would wake up in a panic all this week knowing the fight i had ahead of me to get him up. chain smoking and watching charmed at a barely audible level in the living room (M wakes up after i do, so i keep the tv low, i've woken him up with it a couple of times and felt really bad about it). now maybe i can relax. he also added another task to my list for today, cleaning out the fireplace. i've only ever done it once, he always does it. so that's a new thing i can take over doing. it isn't like it will need to be done for a while soon, with the summer and everything, but while it's cool outside and there's free firewood on the side of the street on doc's way home, we'll have fires.

i think i've run out of things to talk about. i hope everyone has a good day.

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