the sunday afternoons we went for drives to smoke cigarettes.
the nights we rented horror movies.
hanging out at the theater where he sold tickets in a booth.
going dancing and drinking rolling rock.
M actually has some rolling rock so i had a bottle, best beer.
him rescuing me from yet another parental battle.
the untimely and painful death of his father.
so many memories, so much time spent together.
and then nothing for over ten years, the last time i saw him i was with douchebag and i wasn't the best person.
only kelli knows . . . only she, of all the people i knew who knew him, she knows.
we talked about it a lot, the not knowing after his site closed down and he fell off the radar,
the just assuming it had probably happened, but searching for him anyway
and she just read the obits by a slim happenstance today
if not for that we never would have known and maybe we would have been better off.