so anyway, i want to assure my friends out there that the boys no longer use in front of me. i don't see it, i don't smell it.
i have reached out to my parents. talked to them through a rough time and hope that we can remain civil, and that brat #1 will never call me to bail him out. because i won't. i've gotten what i wanted, peace with my parents. that is enough for now.
ergo, things are at peace here.
i took all the advice given and considered it, knowing it came from a place of deep liking or even shallow love. and i thank everyone for your words of wisdom. i will actually miss the lively conversation.