Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

the phone is power

i called N who gave me the number of F who said about my inability to get a ride to the meetings, "why don't you call a bitch and get a ride set up?" and i said, "what do you think i'm doing now?" the phone is power. K was right, prick that he is. no one has made me cry like him or frustrated me so much. as a councilor, he's good at what he does, but maybe too good. telling me he thought i just wanted to go home a day early because i wanted to get loaded. that was fucking unfair. i'm still very sober, and plan to stay that way. at least he did it in private, L called me out in public, with the guilt and the shame and the hey hey hey. i left there the next morning, with doctor's orders, with a very bitter taste in my mouth.

the phone is power. hopefully i can get a ride to the meeting tonight, it's a huge meeting and a great place to network. and i know that it will get back to K and L that i was there and sober the entire time i was gone, just a few days. enough days to fall off the wagon, but i'm up near the driver and the walls are high, i'm staying on this wagon for the forseeable and unforseeable future. but i feel like i have something to prove to L and K. i shouldn't, because this is about me, not them. and i'm letting them and my anger get the better of me. i need to calm down and wait for F to call back hopefully with a ride to tonight's AA meeting at rehab.

i know the initials are a pain in the ass but i signed a thing saying i wouldn't write about rehab. the first rule of rehab, there is no rehab. tee hee.
i need to lighten up.
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