oh, and that thing about spending time with M sounded a little weird, so let me 'splain: neither doc nor i are involved with M on any level deeper than friend. they're both straight, for one, and for two, doc was a fluke, i like girls. though doc isn't very girlie, he's just a recovered hippie. so he's really sensitive, it's part of what made me love him, his biting wit was another. i mostly laugh when he uses it on me. i can't be mad with him for more than a half an hour, and usually less than that. i've tried, it doesn't stick.
wow, that was not meant to turn into a little doc essay question. anyway, no hanky panky with M. that's what i meant to say. right then.
i have a lot of books to read. 5 that are recent purchases that i need to get into and read. one of them is a psychological memoir and it is nothing like the psychological memoir i'm writing. how are conversations when in crisis able to be quoted back? mine isn't set up like that. i can't remember any of the conversations. i don't have a lot of narrative. it's mostly descriptions of what i went through at different times and the in between, it's hard to explain. part of me wants to get it published small press, but the deal AMB and i have is going all the way, with a book tour and interviews on different programs. we're not looking for an oprah seat she would likely hate my book, just a bit of recognition for me and exposure for both of us.
wow, all sorts of shit is just flowing out of my head. i think i'll take my meds now and just relax. later i'll need to wash my hair. that will take a nice long time. but the pain, you would think if one had my hair, one would get used to combing it out, and the associated pain, but one doesn't. at least not this one. it's a festival in pain unless i can be patient and leave the conditioner in long enough to work. i'm getting it cut soon. about two inches off the bottom to get rid of the damage, and then long layers. so i look less hippie-ish. and get maximum use of my curls and much less pain when combing my hair. it will be a bit fluffy, but that's why someone cool created hair product.
Depeche Mode - Just Can't Get Enough
