Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

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"heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies"

i've been up since 7:30 this morning. i really have to find a way to stay up later at night. the early morning weirds me out. the thick menacing clouds are moving away, leaving a white striped blue sky.

happy halloween. i forgot there for a moment. it's a quiet night for us, kids don't trick or treat in the complex. they go across the street with their parents to the nice, older neighborhood. i didn't decorate for the holiday, mainly because i'm doing xmas really up this year. so i'm saving myself for that. since i know where all the xmas stuff is this year, i can go nuts.

for example, we got an item in the mail that was packed in with a massive amount of brown paper. so i told doc i would twist it up to make it easier to burn. once it was done and he saw it, we both had the brilliant idea at the same time, we would wrap it with lights and use it as a garland up the stairs outside. and i would use some of it to make a wreath, with some of my silk pointsettias collection. so, even doc got excited about the holidays for a few minutes.

i try to get some laughter out of him every day. whether it's tv or some website i found, at least a big smile. something, anything to see the man i love not in pain for an instant. i cause most of that pain, so i have a lot of guilt.

and i'm slacking off already, putting off emptying the dishwasher for two days. i'll make it up and empty and refill it and generally clean the kitchen. i also have laundry to fold and some to dry. i don't like doing it until everyone is out of the house. doc and i had a talk about that last night, while i was trying to explain why i did nothing on days when doc is home. when he's here, i just want to be next to him. needy much?

when he and M have gone to work i do things. some stuff i do at night, like vacuum. when M is home, he's not really here, right now he's got a game on his computer that he's really into.

i'm so sick of politics. i really am. this crap has been going on for almost two years. i just don't care anymore. the only reason i have the news on now is the number of infomecials on this early in the morning. i'm not listening to it, in fact, M is up, so gods know what he's going to find to watch. huzzah for M!

Alphaville - Forever Young
Tags: doc, ramble, xmas

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