Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

"i'm finished making sense, done pleading ignorance"

and a good morning to all, though it's afternoon, i'm trying to catch up. i actually slept past 10 am, i am pleasantly surprised.

the icon is a picture out of the back of the house we lived in in PA. i didn't have a digital camera at the time, only web cams, so it came out quaint and a bit messed up in the focus and color. it's one of the few pleasant reminders of that house. but it's a great picture.

i bought some new insence flavors yesterday. one simply called "refreshing" by Tulasi, i buy a lot of their scents. this one has hints of lemongrass and happiness. then i got insence sticks of sai champa, curious if it smelled like the cones, and it doesn't, but it has a very rich and deep scent. and of course i got more nag champa. that's a staple scent that we try always to have. i noticed they had cones, but i will try those next week when i go for a cigarette run. now i'm waiting for doc to leave so i can light some up. it bothers his allergies and asthma.

the smoke shop also has a dragon's blood stick i want to try out. the last dragon's blood i had, i only used for ritual, so it's been a while since we had that scent. i don't do the rituals anymore. i don't even keep a candle lit at all times. out of habit i still send the incense to the goddess. i just don't believe she's there anymore. this is the second time i've had a crisis of faith. the last time was when i decided to leave the mormon church. i was just a kid then, but i think i handled it much better than i am now.

"just a kid" . . . i'm still a kid, it's my body that keeps aging.

doc and i started to have the argument about my doctor keeping me on the high doses of seroquel and how it makes me useless, and i finally had enough and admitted it wasn't the meds. i'm just lazy. and i said it right to him with a straight face. needless to say, there are many more chores on my list than usual today. that's fine, i'd like to snap out of it and get some shit done. and it ends the fight over the meds. which is a fight i'm plenty sick of having.

it's friday! i don't know M's plans for the weekend. but i plan to reconcile the piles of paper all around me.

have a great weekend!

Foo Fighters - Pretender
Tags: incense, meds
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