Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

the geodon reduction program is off. it does more for my psychosis than i thought. the symptoms recurred so quickly. i'm out. geodon it is. maybe i can trade some seroquel in for more geodon, maybe it would help with the seroquel weight gain. the cost of it has to come down some time, but for now we can afford it. i just got sick of feeling on the edge. feeling so raw and capable of hurting myself. we passed my parent's house today and it put me in the killing mood. but i awoke in a killing mood. seeing that house just brought it back.

i'm sitting watching wrestling with M. i'm wrapped in my blanket for security and have my favorite beanie hat on, again, for security. the hat they wouldn't let me have in the hospital. i could unravel it and hang myself, and the patch on it (army medic patch} could be stuffed into someone's throat. it's scary what desperate people will try or do.

i'm going to stay up late tonight. i don't want to get up early tomorrow.
Tags: whiny little bitch

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