Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i have to go out today to see my shrink. i'm a nervous wreck. i don't want to go out. doc gave me money for lunch, since i'll be right by Robertos, the incredible mexican place i have ignored for too long. i got chips and guacamole last week and it was set up like nachos, with the guac on a pile of chips with cheddar and queso fresco, it was so decadent. i've been craving it since i finished it. so that's my incentive not to be a whack job and go do what i need to do. M is taking me up there to the doctor's. i have a couple of hours to chill out and wait for him.

i need to get hair dye. my roots are so showing, and with the addition of the grey these past few years, it's really obvious. grey hair. heh. i got it later than my mom. i guess we kids did make her grey. good.

i woke up from dreams of the hospital, i was all disoriented. i didn't know where i was. and doc was already up, which confused me more. i forgot he had to leave for work early. it was strange. i think it's because i've been thinking of rehab more and more and it is in the same building as the psych hospital. so i think that is what triggered those dreams. and they weren't bad dreams. will rehab work for me? can i do the narcanon program? i would have to rely on M for rides to meetings. and we still have friends that use, will i be strong enough to go do something else? that's why i think rehab will be good for me, i can get these answers from more experienced ex-users.

this will be a good day. i won't freak out, i will maintain my calm. this will be a good day.

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