Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

still no email or other contact from my sister. it's been about five months now that i have been actively looking for her. i got some big clues last weekend and even dug up an email. goddess, don't let me lose another sister. i've only the one left and if she cuts me off, my heart will break into shards.

it's early here, for a weekend day. doc is still in bed, i've been on the bed for the past couple of hours watching Pirates of the Caribean. sitting up and playing with the cats that wander in and out. they swarm when doc is awake. i have a photo i need to take doc's face out of, it's a photo of the swarm one night. we need a bigger bed. i'll post it once i anonymize it for him. i know, how exciting for all of you. i'm making a big deal out of a cat photo. what the fuck is wrong with me? i feel like i lost my punk. i'm all soft and weak now. that's what doc is trying to tell me. he fell in love with a woman who had it together or at least bothered to fake it and now i'm like a melted popsicle. and it has nothing to do with my age. if i were thin and able, i'd be at the double down every night, catching shows, being with people.

i want my life back. time to start fighting for it.

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