Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

guess where i just got back from! . . . the therapist. my first visit. coincidentally, he has worked the NA program and encourages me to, as well. if i can just figure out how to get to meetings. in the mean time i will keep reading the book. it's really slow going because i highlight so many passages. there's a chapter that is almost entirely highlighted.

so, i see the therapist twice a month and my shrink once a month. i'll be going to that medical building a lot. i can practice walking up the hill instead of bussing it, though once it hits summer, all bets are off and i'm bus bound. air conditioning, you know.

so i love my therapist, he's really laid back. it's so weird to talk to someone, just let whatever out and have them listen. he also took copious notes the entire time. so twice a month i will be talking to him.

i also put doc on the list of people that they can talk to. i need to do that for my shrink, too. since doc couldn't even find out if i'd left on my own or in an ambulance. which wouldn't have done a lot of good, but it would have put him at ease. since it was the next day when he finally heard from me. or maybe i called from the hospital. i remember a nurse plugging in a phone for me and telling me they don't usually do this. so maybe i left him a message that night, hell, for all i know, i talked to him. the time in the emergency room is always a blur to me. i got to the psych hospital around 1am. they checked me in and put me to bed.

the next day the regimen started. wake up for breakfast, do a dancing group (casper slide and cuban shuffle and the macarena just for good measure), do a goals group, medication time, then another group, then lunch and then another group and then another group and then dinner then nothing. visitors from 6 to 7pm. goals group, snacks, meds, free time. lights out at 11pm. every day it's the same, with minor variations, like who leads the group and smoke breaks, which is a social thing more than a smoking thing. except to me, i just wanted to smoke.

so you can see that my days were full and how it would be a shock to the system to come home to 12 hours alone every day all of a sudden. the medications are squashing all the stress. i just have all this free time. and i should be working on things, if only reading all my psych books. fill the time with something other than Firefly episodes.

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