and i honestly feel better. i can't imagine why i did the damage to myself that i did. i'll have the scars as reminders of a much darker time.
turns out all i needed was a massive medication change. not to new drugs, but to higher dosages of the meds i was on to begin with.
the voices are not gone, but they are far away now, i can barely hear them.
i hope everything is going well for all of you. i can say that and mean it now.
i went to a lot of useful groups and even took notes in a few of them. i also got the narcotics anonymous (sp) blue book of inspiration and info on al-anon meetings. i am about to call and get an appointment with a therapist.
as i write this, i feel the past slipping away like my extra weight (got weighed in the hospital, i've lost 25 pounds since i last weighed myself). the past is my demon. i'm learning how to beat the demon down.
don't worry, i won't turn into some robot spewing cliches, i'm still me, still the punk rock cydniey we all know and love. i just have (fucking finally) a new perspective on things.
and i have pretty eyes. hee.