cancelled the appointment with Doctor Bible Belt. and got a referral to see another doctor in the same practice. he works/used to work at the hospital i go to. so i'm familiar with him. plus i know he knows the hospital. i'm just waiting to hear if he is taking new patients. according to the insurance company i was also on the phone with for a long time, he is, but their data could be out of date. hee. then we can get this prozac thing worked out and i can go back on cymbalta.
hopefully i can work with this doctor. or whichever new one i get. that is key, really. someone i can talk to for five minutes that isn't going to just change my meds around without a word as to why.
the woman from the insurance company told me to go to the ER if i was feeling suicidal. i've done that too many times, next time i need to go, i'm going straight to the psych hospital. no more nights in the ER in a back room with other psych patients wandering the small room. ugh. never again.
my battle with giving up sugar and soda is going well. instead of removing sugar entirely from my coffee, i'm just weaning myself off coffee. yesterday we stopped to get burgers and doc ordered me a water, crushing blow. but i learned i didn't need soda to make the burger experience great. the burger alone did that. i never ate burgers as a kid. hated them until just recently. it started with In and Out burger, then migrated over to carl's jr for the big burger, western style, then to the jack in the box sirloin burger, and yesterday i had a fabulous burger at wendy's, of all places. it had just been made and was fabulous.
we took the buses up to the periodontist's office yesterday. it's a little jumbled in my head, but i'm pretty sure i can do it on my own. getting home is a bit sketchier, but i can at least get a bus to where i can walk home. long walk, but if my face is all fucked up from the dentist, i won't mind the walk. of course, this first appointment will probably just be assessment, which would suck. i want something done. if my gums need to be scraped, let's do it. and i don't want to hear i have to have all my teeth removed. there has to be something that can be done to save most of them. i know the two bottom front teeth are well and truly fucked, i can almost see bone there. they are solid, but the gum situation there is dire.
teach your kids good dental hygeine. take them to the dentist if you can, when you can.
my arms got a bit of a tan over the weekend. i can now see two more scars. i need to get sunscreen for my arms.
i don't even have to tell people any more that i'm sick. they can just look closely at my arms and know something is up. especially with this new scar, which is still a garish red like it just healed over a few days ago. and it's more than two months old at this point. and it isn't in a place where i can just twist my arm a bit and hide it. what the fuck was i thinking? no more on my arms. they've had enough. doc says no more at all because i've done enough damage to myself already.
i have a bus pass that is good until 4:40. i should go get cat food at the dollar store.
i need to read a chapter first.