Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

my gum disease is so bad that we will likely have to pull all of my teeth and replace them with dentures.

i'm not picking up the phone tonight. i may not ever pick up the phone again. i may never use my mouth again. i have to give up the main staple of my diet, sugar.

so it's not a big deal in the realm of what could be wrong with me. but my self esteem can't get any lower and being toothless won't help things any.

i just want to die. i'm tired of living and fighting and having something good always tempered with something worse. i'm sick of the fight, yo.

if i hurt myself before doc gets home, will the trouble i will be in really matter to me now? i don't think it will.

i'd like to be all strong cydniey, but i'm not and that's all there is to it. i am a flawed human being who can't seem to leave at least some of her flaws behind in the dust.

i just need to be alone and doc won't get it when he gets home and we will fight and that will be a perfect ender to this shithole of a day. i can't believe that two short hours ago i let myself be hopeful about something. no more of that. i can't take the let down and the crazy turnaround any more.
Tags: teeth
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  • 16 comments

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    today is the second anniversarry of our cat, henry's death. we've been mourning him all week and had a rose candle lit. henry liked the smell of the…

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