Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

i woke up really early, i think doc was still home. i washed and put my contacts in and sat down to watch the last of the Firefly episodes and Serenity. i drank the rest of the coke that S went and got me last night to settle my stomach. i wish i'd saved it instead of drinking it all, but i get reall out of control with cola around. i must drink it.

now i'm burning a Bowie compilation to listen to tomorrow morning when i get up.

doc shampooed the carpet last night. it looks cleaner, but it's cheap rental beige and after 5 or six years there is only so much you can do with it.

leeloo is sulking under the rocking chair because i was following her around with the camera. she used to be such a ham, now she hates the little silver box. could be in part due to the flash. though, unlike her siblings, she does not look straight at. she has the good sense to close her eyes when she hears the beep. she needs a bath, though i doubt that will solve her sulking problem.

there has got to be something creative i can get in to. in the vain hope of writing something, i've kept an open notebook on the coffee table for the past week, pen all ready to use. nothing. i can't even string a meaninful phrase in my head.

i've been reading lately. that isn't going so well. i forget things as soon as i put the book down. most of the things, in fact. i've read the ending to one story multiple times, not because it is well written, but because i can never remember one day to the next how the story ended.

god i am so frustrated with this. i just want to tear into my flesh. blood is tangible.

i need to go find something to do. something not self destructive.

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